Top Tips on how to not take things so personally.
I want to talk about how to stay strong in your own space and not let the actions of others affect you. Unfortunately in life people will do and say things that may leave you feeling hurt and confused about the way they behaved. A common expression i am sure you have heard is “I cant believe they did that” or “how could they do that to me” but the truth of the matter is, it most likely had nothing to do with you at all.
You see even though we are all part of a collective consciousness, everyone is living their own personal projection of consciousness through their own reality. Sure, we bounce off and into each others projections all the time but lets face it our own projections are mainly about us and our loved ones. We aren't emotionally attached to everyone and thats why you might have hurt someone and not even known why OR that it ever happened.
Think about a time when you have unintentionally hurt someone, or they took something personally that wasn't at all what you intended, of course you apologised but did it truly bother you the next day? or were you just left confused about why they got so upset? Thats because they weren't a part of your personal reality and its a two way street. This is the biggest key when it comes to not taking things so personally. When we do take things personally we end up projecting our own insecurities and pain onto various encounters we have in life and whilst you might be left brooding for weeks on end, the other person is living life as normal and you haven't even crossed their mind.
I hope you are having a lightbulb ah ha moment now as understanding this fully is truly going to help you not sweat the small stuff. Learning not to take things personally will honestly change your life and relationships with those around you.
In the past i have been hurt so many times and my reaction EVERY single time was probably the same as most of you, “gosh how could they do that to me” i am such a kind person. When the roles are reversed on the other hand and its someone that you have hurt i find its a much easier concept to understand.
A perfect example of when i experienced this is when my son was just over 12 months old (during the days when you haven't slept since before they were born and life is pretty tough, not to mention being on my own as a single mum) Getting my son to sleep is a mission in its self and that nap-time was a much needed respite for myself too. The lady in the apartment above me started to get a cleaner right during his nap time and because i live in an old building it literally sounded like bombs going off on their old wooden floorboards. After a few weeks I politely sent her a text saying something along the lines of: “i know you don't have kids and probably don't understand what its like, but would you please mind asking your cleaner to come at a morning time instead?”. Much to my dismay she had a complete meltdown said that i was out of line, mean and abusive??? I was left in shock and couldn't really believe what had happened.
Turns out she was upset because she had tried to have kids and couldn’t. She was projecting her own personal reality and pain onto what i had said which was nothing to do with what she had experienced in her past. Once i realised this, my way of thinking shifted dramatically and thats the key reason i don't take things so personally anymore. Of course emotions will arise, you feel that knot in your stomach and your heart starts pounding, but those are just emotions that you can learn to become aware of and master who is in control. You or your emotions. So next time this happens, please remind yourself that A its not about you and B there is definitely nothing wrong with you. Recognise what is happening and become aware of who's reality is taking root.
Take a look at the way your feeling, are you angry? in pain, embarrassed? Remember, when we take things personally we are projecting our own insecurities.
"What is Anger? It's the punishment we give ourselves for someone else's mistakes." unknown quote
If your angry its most likely because you are thinking how can they treat me like that which takes us back to the beginning and understanding we are all living a personal projection of reality inside the collective consciousness. Pride and ego step into play at these times because we want to prove we are right and they were wrong, but feeding those negative emotions only keeps you in a lower vibration. I can guarantee the other person who hurt you probably hasn't even thought about it twice so don't let your energy go into those downward spirals. Close your eyes, Take a deep breath and remember “ its not your reality”.
Your reality is beautiful, positive and full of love. No-one can hurt you when you stand strong in your own space my ninja angels!
As aways sending you Love and Light,
Love Kelly xxx